


A Crazy Bunch of Unicorns

by Empyrial



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asahi is a cinnamon roll, Based off of real life, College is crazy, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone is Crazy, M/M, No Sex, Noya to the rescue!, Oikawa is the bride, Past Drug Use, Tanaka Ryuunosuke is a Good Friend, The author can't afford therapy, The bridesmaids are crazy, Unicorns, Weddings, god help us all, sex kinks, the Author Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:28:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Empyrial/pseuds/Empyrial
Summary: Oikawa is getting married and has asked his best friend Asahi to be his Best Man. Asahi is thrilled to be a part of his friend's special day, but the rest of the bridal party is certainly something else. Well, to be blunt they're absolutely insane! Luckily for Asahi there's one ray of sunshine during this crazy weekend, and that's the groom's best man!*Rated M not for sexual content, but for mentions of past drug use, sex kinks, and the crazy sexcapades everyone did in college!All of this actually happened to the author, who was the Asahi in this situation. After such a weekend, the author could use a hug!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	A Crazy Bunch of Unicorns

**Author's Note:**

> So as mentioned in the summary, this all is based off of real life and a wedding I went to this past Fall. Some things have been altered just a bit to make more sense for Haikyuu characters. For example I didn't blow up penis balloons, but balloons were blown up and blow job jokes were made. That sort of thing. The conversations are all 100% true. So there's ultimately a grain of truth in every part of this story...except one. 
> 
> Sadly in real life there was no serendipitous arrival of a Nishinoya to sweep me off my feet. But since I was the Asahi in this scenario and felt just as awkward as he would have, adding a Noya character seemed like the perfect way to go. At the real wedding the Best Man was also single, but also twenty years older than me, so that wouldn't have worked.
> 
> But hey, all of this makes for a great story! I met some fantastic people and saw like, four examples of true love and relationships goals! 
> 
> See the end of the story for more notes, like the song Hinata and Kageyama dance to and what the actual "Kuroo" person's sex kink really is!

*One year earlier*

“Congratulations, Oikawa! I had a good feeling about this one!”

“Thanks, Asahi, I’m so happy! Iwa-chan is really the perfect man and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him!”

Though he knew Oikawa couldn’t see it through the phone, Asahi had a huge grin from ear-to-ear at his friend’s good news. He and Oikawa had been friends since they were children. They had remained friends even through Asahi’s multiple moves, and no matter how far apart they were, they knew that they could count on the other. There were many times when one of them had called the other for comfort, help, or advice. 

“Do you have any idea when the wedding is, or have you even gotten a chance to discuss that?” Asahi asked. 

“We want to get married in the fall, so a year from now,” answered Oikawa. 

“Well my friend, I will be there for you on your special day. You’ve always been there for me through thick and thin and I want to be there to witness your marriage!”

“Thanks, Asahi. I had a feeling you’d say something like that; which is why I want you to be my best man.”

“R-really?”

“Well of course man! Who else would I choose?” Oikawa laughed through the phone. 

“I’m honored, Toru,” Asahi said, sniffing back tears. 

“You’re trying not to cry, aren’t you?”

“I’m just happy ok!” 

Oikawa laughed, and Asahi couldn’t wait for next year. 

*One Year Later*

Asahi tried to take deep, calming breaths as he looked at the latest series of texts on his phone. As a photographer for a modeling agency, he made sure that his phone was put way during a shoot so that his whole attention would be on the model. He was now regretting that personal policy as he looked at the new messages in his group chat. 

Suga: Alright all! Ive gotten several cases of White Claw, vodka, and tequila! This party is gonna be lit! I’ve got all the party dicks!

Hinata: We’ll be there in time for dinner! 

Kuroo: Suga’s going to pick us up from the airport, and then we’ll be there. Can’t wait to party all night! 

Suga: It’s gonna be just like college! We don’t stop til the sun goes down ;) 

Suga: I’m worried we don’t have enough dicks… but the trunk won’t fit any more!

Kuroo: That’s what he said!!!

Suga: LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Hinata: Who said that?

Kuroo: Don’t worry about it. 

Asahi: Um, hey guys, really looking forward to meeting you all in person finally, and giving Oikawa a wonderful bachelor party evening. But I thought we were just doing dinner… The rental I got says “no parties”. 

Suga: We’ll worry about it if it becomes an issue. PARTAY!

Asahi: Also, do we really need that much alcohol? Oikawa said he’s been trying to cut back lately…

Kuroo: Somebody has to get drunk and wild! Don’t worry about Oikawa. 

Asahi could feel himself sweating through his dress shirt, and his heart was beating a rapid staccato. He felt like the wet blanket of the group, but he had no idea the party was continuing at the rental after dinner and the pub-crawl. That was the point of the pub-crawl! Drink, and then crash at the rental. It had a very strict “no parties” policy. And what the others were suggesting did not sound like a quiet gathering of friends… Normally Asahi wouldn’t mind a fun, slightly crazy evening with a good group of bros, but this was his credit card on the line. 

On top of that, after some very crazy years in college, Oikawa had let Asahi know that he was limiting his alcohol consumption. It had gotten to an excessive level, and Oikawa recognized where this road was headed to and pulled back. While he wanted his bridal party to have fun, he intended to only a drink a little, if at all. He’d told Asahi he didn’t want to slip down the slope to excess and ruin what progress he’d made. 

Asahi pulled out his credit card, did some quick typing on his phone, and then messaged the group back. 

Asahi: Hey guys, rental fell through at the last minute! But here’s the address of the new place, and it has a great theater room!

Best of all, Asahi thought, it allows parties… He shook his head as he got on the bus to ride home. This might be a longer weekend then he was expecting… He added ibuprofen to his list of things to pack. 

The next day, after rising early and a long drive up north, Asahi was pulling into a familiar driveway, and felt a sense of peace settle over him. In a way, he was home.  
Oikawa had bought his parent’s old house when they had decided to move into a retirement community. They had lived here for over thirty years, and Asahi and Oikawa had played in this yard and stayed up late watching Disney movies in this house. Asahi got out and took a deep breath, practically smelling the childhood memories that saturated this place. They had dreamed and planned their future at this house. It was perfect for a wedding. 

“Asahi!” Oikawa came hurtling through the front door and launched himself into Asahi’s arms. Asahi staggered as Oikawa jumped on him, but held his best friend tight and laughed in joy. 

“It’s so good to see you, Toru!” Asahi laughed. “You’re getting married!”

“I’m getting married!” Oikawa exclaimed as he unwound his legs from Asahi’s waist and stepped back onto the ground. 

“Anything I can help you with for wedding prep before the bachelor party tonight?”

“Actually yes,” Oikawa popped a hip out and rested his hand on it. He was casually dressed in long workout pants and a well-worn, teal T-shirt. Asahi had figured with his size and strength that he would be put to work, and was similarly dressed, with his long hair wrapped into a messy bun on top of his head. 

“I need some help with the flower bouquets,” Oikawa continued. 

“We have bouquets?” Asahi asked. 

“Yeah. If I’m going to be the ‘bride’ in this wedding, I want us all to have flower bouquets!”

Asahi prosaically shrugged. “Hey, what the bride wants, the bride gets.” 

“You got that right buddy! To the basement!”

Oikawa led the way to the basement, excitedly chattering away about all the wedding details. Once down in the cool room where all the flowers were being held, the two men went to work enhancing the bouquets. 

“I figure we can take apart this one to make mine bigger,” Oikawa said, holding up the throwing bouquet. 

“Why Toru, why ever would you want to do that?” Oikawa’s mother asked, coming in with a large bucket of baby’s breath flowers.

“Well it’s not like we’re going to need it!” Oikawa argued. 

“You’ll need it for all the single gentlemen.” 

“There’s only Asahi! Everyone else coming who would catch the bouquet is either married or engaged!”

“Then give it to him!”

Oikawa’s mother wrapped an arm around Asahi’s waist. “You’ve grown so big since your family first moved here!” she exclaimed up at him. “And you should have the throwing bouquet.”

“I’ll be fine, Okaasan,” Asahi said, giving Oikawa’s mother a side-hug. “But thank you.” 

“Fine,” Oikawa said, rolling his eyes. “Asahi gets the throwing bouquet.” 

Asahi blushed. “Gee, thanks Oikawa,” he said sarcastically. 

Oikawa clapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, man, we’ll find you a guy one day!”

“And that’s why you need the throwing bouquet,” Oikawa’s mother sagely nodded. 

The two men laughed and went back to work on the flowers.

“Alright buddy,” Oikawa said some time later. “I have my pre-nuptial massage coming up in the next half hour.”

“And I need to get to the rental,” Asahi said, dusting little baby’s breath flowers off of his pants. “Meet the other guys.” 

“They’re a bit crazy, but I think you’ll like them. And after all, I’m friends with all of you so you all must have some awesome qualities too!”

“Sure,” was all Asahi said. 

About an hour later Asahi was at the rental. He’d picked out his bedroom, and had been curled up on the couch reading for the past half hour. The other men still hadn’t arrived, and were running late. 

He heard a car pull into the drive and saw that the others were finally here. Asahi opened the door to greet them.

“Hello!” he warmly greeted as two other men exited the car. “So glad you made it!”

A slim, casually dressed man in a pocket tee and boyfriend jeans stepped out from the driver’s side, pushing silky silver strands of hair out of his face. A taller man with some spectacularly dark, spiked hair wearing work out pants and a loose tank top got out from the passenger side. 

“I feel like we should hug after all the talking we’ve done,” the silver-haired one said, holding out his arms with a warm smile. “I’m Sugawara. Call me Suga.” 

Asahi couldn’t help but hug the other man; he had such a warm presence around him. “Nice to meet you,” he replied. 

“Hey man,” the tall, rooster-haired one said while holding out a hand. “I’m Kuroo.” 

Asahi shook his hand, and was pleasantly surprised when he was pulled in for a bro-hug. 

“Need help bringing stuff in?” Asashi asked. 

“If you could get the White Claw cases that’d be great!” Suga exclaimed as he pulled his suitcase out from the back of the car. Kuroo had a duffle bag in one hand and a large bottle of vodka in the other. 

“Cases?” Asahi faintly asked. “There’s only going to be five of us…” 

“Can’t be too prepared!”

Asahi went around to the back of the car and his eyes widened at the amount of alcohol back there. *There are only five of us!* He desperately thought. 

“Can you grab the champagne too?” Suga called from inside. Asahi sighed, tucked two cases of White Claw under one arm, grabbed a third with one hand, and managed to hold two large bottles of champagne with the other. 

He walked back inside to find Kuroo stuffing the fridge full of alcohol and Suga unpacking a box of decorations. 

“Damn, I knew I forgot something!” Suga said as he unwound a large wall hanging of a row of naked men. 

Asahi hurriedly ran around closing all the blinds. The owners of the rental lived right next door, and Asahi didn’t want them looking through the window to see their wall had been turned into an R-rated exhibition. “Another hanging?” he asked with a weak chuckle. 

“No! Thumbtacks!”

“Thumbtacks?!”

“Yeah, the adhesive on the back of this is shit.”

“I don’t think the owners would like us poking holes in their wall,” Asahi gently pointed out. 

“Nah,” Kuroo said, striding over. “I used to run an Airbnb and I wouldn’t have cared about something like that.” 

“Still...,” Asahi said, trailing off. He did not want to be the wet blanket here, but who was crazy enough to mar up the pristine walls of a rental?!

Suga began lifting pictures off the walls. Asahi didn’t even bother asking what crazy idea the other man had now. 

“We can use these holes and nails to hold the mural up!” Suga exclaimed. 

“Great,” Asahi said, trying not to let his anxiety show. “Hopefully we’ll remember where they go for when we put this place back together tomorrow…” 

Kuroo began blowing up penis shaped balloons, remarking that his fiancé, Kenma, had better be happy at all the “blow job” practice he was doing. Suga maneuvered the naked man mural onto the wall, using Asahi’s height to stick the top adhesive strip high up. 

“Don’t forget the bed dicks!” Kuroo exclaimed. 

Asahi briefly closed his eyes. What fresh hell was this? He wouldn’t ask, he wouldn’t ask, nope nope nope. 

“What’s a bed dick?” he asked. 

“Kuroo actually found some plushy penises online!” Suga exclaimed. “He bought them and had them shipped to my place.” 

“That way Oikawa can say he experienced at least one last new penis before he married Iwaizumi!” Kuroo snorted. 

“How clever,” Asahi said with a weak laugh. “Oh man! Look at the time! Oikawa will be there in fifteen minutes and we need to get dressed!”

“More importantly,” Suga said, strutting over to the kitchen and throwing open the fridge. “We need to pre-game! Yo, Kuroo! What’re you having?”

“Vodka on the rocks!” Kuroo called back. 

“Hard core! I like it. Asahi?”

“Um, I’ll just stick to water for now and hydrate-up, thanks though,” Asahi replied. 

Suga shrugged a dainty shoulder. “Suite yourself.” 

“C’mon man,” Kuroo said, sauntering into the kitchen with Suga. “Let’s do a shot first.” 

“You’re on!”

Asahi edged down the hallway to his bedroom. “I’m, um, gonna get changed,” he said. 

“Sounds good, bro!” Kuroo called. 

As he walked into his bedroom Asahi heard two clunks of glass on the Formica counter and then two voices exclaiming, “Kanpai!” He plugged his phone in to top the charge off, and texted one of his best friends, Tanaka. 

Asahi: Dude. They are CRAZY!

Tanaka: So you met the other groomsmen, then?

Asahi: Yup. Pray for me tonight. 

Tanaka. I will bro. but don’t worry, this all builds character. 

Asahi: They’re doing vodka shots right now for pre-gaming. 

Tanaka: Oh man that’s hardcore! Are they cute???? ;) ;) ;) ;) 

Asahi: 1) I have enough character to choke a Disney princess. 2) They are all in very committed relationships. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m the ONLY single person at this shindig. 

Tanaka: You are a glorious Disney princess. And I’m sorry I had a previous thing planned with Kiyoko this weekend, otherwise I’d totally be your date for this!

Asahi: You are, truly, the bestest of friends. Thank you. 

Tanaka: No prob buddy. Keep texting me! This is highly entertaining!

Asahi: Will do. Gotta get dressed for tonight!

Tanaka: Show off them guns!

Asahi: What? I don’t have weapons!

Tanaka:…. Your arms, bro. your arms. They hott. Flaunt it. 

Asahi: :/ ….No. ok G2G! 

Asahi put down his phone. He could still hear exclamations from the kitchen. Shaking his head, he quickly changed into leather pants. He was amazed he’d found some in his size (and Tanaka had said his ass looked glorious in them). Then he put on a simple white button up dress shirt, and a paisley patterned dress vest, shot with gold thread. He took down his bun, fluffed his hair, and re-did it pulling half of it into a loose bun at the back of his head. 

“Oikawa’s here!” he heard Suga exclaim. 

Asahi left his room to greet the “bride” with Suga and Kuroo. They all jumped on Oikawa as soon as he entered, pulling him into a large group hug. 

“I see you all have finally met and are getting along!” Oikawa laughed from the middle of the group hug. “But what on earth is with all of these dicks?!”

“Just setting the mood for tonight,” Kuroo said with a wink. 

“What mood?” Oikawa asked. 

“Your last night of freedom!” Kuroo exclaimed. 

“Soon you’ll be chained to just one penis forever!” added Suga. 

“So you deserve to have one last night with other penises before being shackled to Iwaizumi’s dragon.” 

“Well then, thanks guys,” Oikawa laughed. 

“How was your massage?” Asahi asked. 

“Weird. She insisted on doing it with my clothes on, and then just… pressed me… all over.” 

“That sounds terrible,” Suga bluntly stated. 

“My organs feel squished,” Oikawa whined. 

Asahi quickly got him a glass of water from the kitchen. “Here! You probably need to hydrate after that.” 

“Or,” Kuroo smirked, holding up a White Claw. “You can hydrate this way.”

Asahi was a bit worried, but quickly relaxed as Oikawa laughed and took Asahi’s water instead. “Thanks, Kuroo, but god only knows what she did to me, so I better get balanced out first!” 

“Omigod!” Suga exclaimed, looking at his phone. “We only have twenty minutes to get to the restaurant for dinner! Which means we have only ten to get ready!”

Asahi watched in amusement as three grown men scattered. Clothes were randomly flying off through the air and mostly naked bodies were dashing between the bathroom and the bedroom. 

“Sorry, but you’re all going to be seeing my ass!” Suga called as he stripped out of his casual clothes into dress slacks, a mesh T-shirt, and a black suit jacket. 

“Nothing we haven’t seen before babe!” Kuroo catcalled as he shimmied his way into skinny jeans and a cable sweater. 

Oikawa chuckled as he changed into black jeans and a white dress shirt with a black printed dragon-type design up one side. “I see you’re ready to go, of course,” he said to Asahi. 

Asahi grinned as he leaned against the doorway. “Yeah, of course.” 

“Are you liking everyone? Getting along with the other guys?” he asked in a low voice.

Asahi looked across the hallway to where Suga was whipping Kuroo with a towel. “Yeah,” Asahi replied with a smile. “They are the craziest people I’ve ever met, but you can still tell that they really care about you.” 

“Well,” Oikawa said, pulling on his dress shoes. “As I said, I wouldn’t be friends with just anyone. All of you are wonderful people.” 

“Hinata said he’d meet us at the restaurant!” Suga called, looking up from his phone. “Now let’s go!” 

Asahi laughed with the other three as they dashed out of the house and into the car. Oikawa drove them to a classy little restaurant that was one of his favorite places for a fancy night out. 

At the restaurant they were soon ushered to a private corner table, and drinks and appetizers were soon ordered. Asahi was pleased to see Oikawa discreetly ordered a virgin mojito. 

“What’s Hinata like?” he asked Kuroo, who was sitting next to him. 

“Oh, you’ll hear him before you see him,” Kuroo responded, a smirk sliding up one side of his face. 

Suga leaned over from the other side of the table, a devious smile on his face. “Bet you five bucks he barges in with some loud exclamation- probably screaming Oikawa’s name,” he said. 

“You’re on!” Kuroo said, slapping Suga’s hand. 

“Oh, I think Kageyama just dropped him off!” Oikawa said, peering out the restaurant window. 

Suga stood up, jiggling the car keys in his pocket. “I’ll go help him put his suitcase away and bring him in.” 

Moments later Suga and a small, orange haired man wearing a grey suit, walked in. The smaller man bounded over to their table yelling, “OIKAWA!” at the top of his lungs. 

Kuroo slipped a five-dollar bill across the table to Suga. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally getting married!” Hinata continued to exclaim, hugging Oikawa’s head to his chest. 

“Calm down, man!” Oikawa laughed, affectionately patting Hinata on the back. 

“I gotta piss!” Hinta loudly announced, causing several restaurant goers to look over at their table. “It was a super long drive!”

“Oh my god just go!” laughed Suga, gesturing him away. 

“He hasn’t changed a bit,” Kuroo chuckled once Hinata left. 

“Still wild!”

Oh great, Asahi thought. 

Once Hinata returned to the table, the group settled into an easy atmosphere of camaraderie. As the drinks and appetizers flowed, Asahi felt himself relaxing. These other guys were absolutely insane, he was convinced, but they certainly did have hearts of gold. It was clear that they all supported Oikawa and were genuinely good people, even if Asahi had very little, if anything, in common with them. 

This was even more highlighted when Kuroo reminisced about their college days, “Remember when we did the Tour de Franzia?”

“You mean the Tour de France?” asked Asahi. 

“Mmm,” Suga said, running a long finger around the rim of his half-drunk old fashioned. “Not quite.” 

“What?”

“We never did make it to the bikes,” Hinata grinned. 

Oikawa laughed at Asahi’s utterly bewildered look. “The Tour de Franzia!” he repeated. “Like the Tour de France, but with Franzia boxed wine.” 

“We had a relay around our college campus,” Kuroo added. 

“Whoever finished their box of wine first won,” Suga said. 

“Except,” Hinata laughed. “We drank the box before we ever got on the bikes!” 

“Oikawa was the best at drinking all the Franzia.” 

“Well,” Oikawa said with a self-depreciating smile. “I drank a lot more back then.” 

“You were like our house mom,” Suga said. “Always telling us to pick up after ourselves while having a glass of wine.”

“Or a box!” Kuroo laughed. 

“Well I don’t drink that much anymore,” Oikawa said. 

“I can’t drink that much anymore,” Hinata added. 

“Man, college was crazy!” Kuroo exclaimed. “Remember when we did a shit-ton of Molly, invited the soccer team over, and had that huge orgy in the living room?”

Asahi couldn’t stop his jaw from just dropping right open. 

“Mmm,” Suga hummed, eyes unfocused as he reminisced. “I can’t remember who, but someone gave me an excellent blow job that night.” 

“Oh,” Oikawa said, quickly swallowing his bite of calamari. “Head’s up, my Dad will probably mention the New Year’s Eve thing.” 

Asahi didn’t even want to ask what the New Year’s Eve thing was. 

“Oh yeah…,” Suga said, trailing off in thought. “That was me. I’ve pretty sure he saw me streaking through the backyard.” 

“He said he definitely saw someone’s ass and giblets.” 

Asahi looked at Oikawa with panic eyes. 

“We were very experimental back in the day,” Oikawa answered his unspoken question. “But we’ve grown up since then!”

“Yeah, no more mixing drugs and hard alcohol,” Kuroo said, taking a swig of his long island iced tea. “It’s harder to recover from now.” 

“So Asahi,” Suga asked, resting his chin on his hands. “Any crazy stories from your college time?”

“I…read a lot of books, and sometimes stayed up until 2am to finish them…” Asahi said. 

The other three looked blankly at him for a moment before Hinata clapped him on the back. “Well one of us here has to be the pure soul!” he exclaimed. 

“That Asahi is,” Oikawa said with a fond smile. “He’s the purest cinnamon roll around.” 

Asahi blushed. “Oikawa!” he protested. 

“Hey!” Kuroo said. “Someone has to be the saint amongst all us sinners!” 

“You’re boyfriend is a very lucky man,” Suga said, resting his chin on one hand. 

“Ah… I haven’t met him yet,” Asahi stammered. 

The table erupted in exclamations while Oikawa looked on in amusement. 

“Asahi is going to make someone very happy one day,” Oikawa stated with a smile. “But that someone is taking their sweet-ass time getting here.” 

“I didn’t have that problem, though I wish I did,” Hinata said thoughtfully as he took another sip of his margarita. 

“What do you mean?” Asahi asked. 

“I knew I was going to marry Kageyama the instant I met him. And I was pissed!” The others laughed; clearly this was an old joke amongst the college friends. “I mean, I was nowhere near ready to settle down yet! I still had lots of wild oats to sow! And so I did!”

“How?” Asahi weakly asked. 

“Well I’d let him hook up with me now and then. You know, keep him interested still- a one-night stand here and there. And then I’d go out and fool around with a few more people. After a few years, when I was good and ready, I called him up and told him he’d better be single, as I now was and he was going to be stuck with me forever.” 

“How romantic…” 

“I know, right?” Hinata eagerly nodded in agreement, while the other men snickered into napkins. 

“How did you meet your husband?” Asahi asked, turning to Suga, hoping that he was asking this question to one of the responsible ones. 

“Well,” Suga said. “I was seeing someone, and was working at my parents’ bar and in walked this solid hunk. We’d gone to school together and he perked right up when he saw me, and asked if we were in economics together.”

“What did you do?”

“I played it cool, said I didn’t remember. I wanted to give him a reason to keep coming back. And he did. Bit by bit I’d give him a bit more attention, and finally ended up giving him my number and broke up with the guy I was with a few weeks later.” 

Well that’s better… Asahi thought. 

“I’m one of those successful Grindr stories,” Kuroo said, asking Asahi’s unspoken question. “Met Kenma, we connected, and now we’re engaged.” 

“Sure,” Suga said with a smirk. “ ‘Connected’… right…”

“And now we’ll have another success story,” Asahi said, now eager to turn the spotlight back on Oikawa. He raised his wine glass to his best friend. The others quickly followed suit. “To your future happily ever after, my friend.” 

“Cheers!” the others echoed. 

The group continued on with their dinner, chatting and laughing. They ordered a few more rounds of drinks, and gushed over the masterpiece that was dessert. At the end, they were in a delightful, hazy food-coma. 

“Gents,” Oikawa sighed. “Would you all be really disappointed if we skipped the pub crawl? I’m carrying a third trimester food baby, and I’m ready to crash.” 

Asahi was so relieved when everyone else agreed, saying things like, “It’s your party!” and “You’re the bride, you can decide whatever you want!” 

Paying the tab, the group collected their to-go boxes, jackets, and piled in Oikawa’s car to go back to the rental. 

“Let’s get some tunes going!” Hinata exclaimed, plugging his phone into the car’s Bluetooth. 

“What you got?” Kuroo asked. 

“Well, lately I’ve been obsessed with Cardi B’s ‘WAP’.”

“Do I want to know what that is?” asked Asahi. 

“Let us educate you,” Suga said as Oikawa laughed. 

Asahi’s jaw dropped open as he listened to a certified freak who liked Mack trucks in small spaces…

“So I was doing the Tik Tok WAP dance in front of my dogs,” Hinata said. “And they thought I was having a seizure or something and ran away howling.”

“Did they ever come back?” Kuroo asked between laughs. 

“Yeah, once I turned off the music and stopped twitching they came out from under the bed.”

“You are a certified freak,” Suga said with a broad smile. 

“And proud of it!” Hinata exclaimed. 

Asahi decided he had nothing to add to this conversation. 

Once safely back at the rental, they changed into pjs, and watched a wedding rom-com while drinking a few of the White Claws, before passing out in bed. Oikawa joked that he’d enjoy snuggling up to the plushy penises in the middle of the night. 

From what he had originally been worried of, Asahi went to bed incredibly relieved the night had gone so well. Oikawa’s friends were probably certifiably crazy, but they had good hearts. He shot off a quick text to Tanaka that he was alive and crashing, and then soundly fell asleep. 

The next morning both he and Oikawa stumbled out of their respective bedrooms to the sound of excited talking and laughter at a very early hour. 

“Still not a morning person?” Asahi asked Oikawa, his voice still rough with sleep as he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Nope,” Oikawa succinctly responded, rubbing his eyes. 

“Then why are they up?”

“Because I was a bad house mother in college and never spanked them like I should.” 

“We made coffee!” they heard Suga sing out. 

“Thank God,” Oikawa said, and stumbled to the kitchen, while Asahi shuffled into the bathroom. 

Kuroo had the foresight to pack doughnuts with the multiple cases of White Claw, so they had a nourishing breakfast of coffee and doughnuts while packing up and putting the house back together. Asahi internally prayed he’d put the framed pictures back in the correct places. 

“What are your guys’ plans for today?” Oikawa asked once they were outside and about to depart. 

“It’s been a while since Kuroo and Hinata were in town, so we’re going to collect our men from my place and then go on a hike,” Suga answered. 

“Have fun!” said Oikawa. He waved them off as they piled into Suga’s car and drove off, and then turned to Asahi with a questioning look. “Bro?”

“I’m coming to your place,” Asahi answered. 

“What?” Oikawa asked, surprised. 

“It’s the day before your wedding. You have a ton of shit to do. My job is to be the able body. I go where you direct me, Captain!”

Oikawa hugged the taller man. “Oh Asahi, you really are the best friend a guy could ask for!” 

“I know you’ll do the same for me, one day, when I call you to be at my side for my happily ever after,” Asahi responded, hugging the other man tightly to him. “Now I’m going to stop by the Black Crow coffee stand and grab us some mochas, and I’ll meet you back at your house.” 

“I. Love. You,” Oikawa enunciated, his face still pressed into Asahi’s chest. 

Asahi laughed. “Let me get you some more caffeine. Meet you at your place!” 

A few hours later Asahi had a sweatband holding his hair back as he un-stacked a tower of chairs. Oikawa was keeping his wedding small, but still to get married in one’s backyard required a lot of prep. A crew had been by earlier that morning to erect the large venue tent, drop off chairs, tables, heat lamps, and even a fire pit. Oikawa’s father was putting together the dance floor, while his mother was trimming the garden bushes to give it a final touch-up. 

“Where’s Iwaizumi at?” Asahi asked Oikawa. 

“He had to run to the airport to get his Best Man, Nishinoya.” 

“Oh yeah, Iwaizumi mentioned him before. He sounds fun.” 

“Yeah, he’s great! You’ll like him.” 

“So, what’s next?” Asahi asked as he unfolded the last of the chairs. 

Dressed in the same work out pants and a teal top as yesterday, Oikawa put his hands on his hips and surveyed the yard. “I still need to put up some fairy lights in the trees,” he said. 

Oikawa grabbed the most rickety ladder Asahi had ever seen and before Asahi could say “Safety first”, Oikawa had scrambled up in and into the tree to hang the lights.

“Can you get the second strand ready?” Oikawa called down. 

“Um…I’d like to point out that it’s the day before your wedding,” Asahi called up instead of getting the other lights. “And that you don’t want to walk down the aisle in a cast.” 

“I’ll be fine!”

“I would like to go on record that this is a bad idea.” Asahi handed up the second string.

“Duly noted!”

“Why is my fiancé in a tree?” a voice drawled from behind Asahi. 

Asahi turned to give Oikawa’s fiancé a broad grin. He liked Iwaizumi. He was a steady, down to earth kind of guy, and was really good both to and for Oikawa. Asahi was happy to say he was genuinely friends with the other man. 

“Don’t worry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa grinned down at his future husband. “Asahi has it on record that this is a bad idea.” 

“I do,” Asahi eagerly nodded. 

“Hey, Oikawa,” a smaller figure popped up from behind Iwaizumi. He had spiked brown hair with a dyed orange tuft in the middle of his forehead, and stood with the confidence of a man twice his height. He was casually dressed in jeans and a printed shirt, and had a beautiful, honest smile on his face. Asahi felt his heart flutter when looking at him. 

“I have no problem scaling tall objects, and it’s better if I break my leg before tomorrow and not you!” the other man continued. Asahi had a fleeting thought that he wouldn’t mind if he was the other tall object to be climbed…

“Hey Noya!” Oikawa waved. 

“Keep both hands on the tree!” Asahi barked as he covered his eyes with one hand, all amorous thoughts fleeing his head. 

Oikawa laughed. “Hey Iwa-chan, introduce Asahi to Noya while I climb down!”

Iwaizumi strolled over to Asahi with Noya at his side. “Asahi, Noya. Noya, Asahi,” Iwaizumi said, gesturing between the two. 

Asahi held out his hand with a warm smile. “Very nice to meet you,” he said. 

“You too! Holy cow you’re tall!” Noya exclaimed. “I mean, Iwaizumi told me how tall you were but wow!”

Asahi sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks?” he laughed. 

Oikawa laughed as he got back onto the ground. Behind him, without a word, Iwaizumi climbed up into the tree to resume the stringing. “I thought you two would get along,” Oikawa said. 

“Well now that we’re here, what can I help with?” Noya asked. 

“Can you help Iwa-chan with the lights? Then Asahi and I can move the heaters around.” 

“Sure thing!” Noya bounded over with another string to Iwaizumi’s tree. Asahi couldn’t stop his gaze from following him. 

“He’s cute, isn’t he?” Oikawa murmured, nudging Asahi. 

“Shuddup,” Asahi said, face flushing scarlet. 

“Well, he is the only other single person at this entire event.” 

“Just focus on getting married.” 

Oikawa laughed and went to work moving the heaters around the tents. Since it was fall, it got a little cooler at night. The group arranged a few more pieces of furniture, filled some coolers with ice, beer, and wine, and then after a few more hours finally called it done. Iwaizumi and Noya left to get the food for the rehearsal dinner. Oikawa surveyed his back yard with a pleased smile on his face.

“I think this will do quite nicely,” he said. “And now, shower time for me!”

“Mind if I borrow your guest bathroom?” Asahi asked. “I want to freshen up a bit before dinner.” 

“No problem, you know where the towels are and everything.” 

“Thanks man.” 

“Thank you, bro, for being here all day helping me out!”

“Well, of course! I’m happy to, both as your friend and your best man.” 

“Well, I appreciate it all the same. I’m going to jump in the shower. Help yourself to anything.” 

“Thanks man.” 

Asahi followed Oikawa upstairs and let himself into the guest bedroom. He’d kept his suitcase with him, and after freshening up in the bathroom was able to change into a fresh pair of clothes. He kept it simple, just nice jeans and a purple and white polka-dotted dress shirt. He wasn’t able to do too much with his sweaty hair, so he piled it on top of his head in a messy bun. 

After getting all dressed up for the rehearsal dinner, Asahi came downstairs and hung out with Iwaizumi and Noya while he waited for Oikwa to come down. Iwaizumi had changed into dress slacks and a patterned dress shirt, while Noya wore skinny jeans and a black sweater with a white collared shirt underneath. The three men had a fun time chatting together and relaxing for a bit after their long day. 

Soon though, the doorbell rang.

“Iwa-chan! Can you get that?” Oikawa called from the upstairs. 

“Got it!” Iwaizumi heaved himself from the couch. “I bet you it’s the crazy ones,” he said, addressing Asahi. 

“Oh good,” Asahi said as he got up too. “You see it too.” 

“Oh yeah, I sure do.” 

“I can’t wait to meet them!” Noya announced as he bounded up from the couch. 

Iwaizumi was barely reaching for the doorknob before the door burst open. 

“We’re here!” Hinata exclaimed as he bounded into the entryway. He was dressed in black jeans and bright blue sweater that made his orange hair even brighter. Behind him was a taller, brooding man with dark blue eyes and dark hair, wearing a ball cap, jeans and a grey pullover sweater.

“Hello darlings!” Suga called from behind Hinata, as he entered with his husband. Suga had on charcoal dress pants and a white button up shirt with a matching charcoal vest. His husband, a broad, muscular man, was dressed more casually with jeans and a navy blue Hensley shit. 

“Yo!” Kuroo called from the back, one arm raised in greeting while the other was wrapped around the shoulders of a smaller man who was staring intently at his phone. Kuroo was wearing khaki pants, a tight, white T-shirt, and a jean jacket. His partner had on soft blue jeans and a red and black-checkered flannel shirt. He had shoulder length balayage dyed hair that was in a loose bun at the back of his neck, and his gold eyes were glued to his phone. 

Oikawa came bounding down the stairs wearing light grey slacks, a light blue dress shirt, and a white tie, his eyes aglow at the sight of the three couples in his foyer. He launched himself in the group to hug everyone. 

Meanwhile Asahi was being introduced to the husbands (or in Kuroo’s case, his fiancé) and met Kageyama, Daichi, and Kenma, respectively shackled to Hinata, Suga, and Kuroo. 

The giant group moved into the kitchen where they were hugged and cosseted by Oikawa’s parents. 

“My boys!” Oikawa’s mother exclaimed as Suga, Hinata, and Kuroo gathered her into a group hug. 

“Now,” Oikawa’s dad said. “Last time I saw you all was New Year’s Even several years ago, and whose ass did I see that night? It was Kuroo, wasn’t it?”

They all laughed at that, even Asahi after hearing the story the night before. 

“Ah, that was actually me, sir,” Suga said, raising his hand with a sheepish grin. Behind him Daichi rolled his eyes, but wrapped an arm around Suga’s waist to pull his partner against his chest. 

Oikawa Senior eyed Suga, but there was a twinkle in his eye as he said, “Of course it was!”

“Food’s ready!” Iwaizumi announced as he began pulling tin trays out from the oven. Oikawa’s mother began putting serving spoons in each tray. 

“Allow me, Okaasan,” Kageyama said, grabbing a tray and moving outside to the tent with it. 

“And I’ll take the next one,” Daichi said. He ended up taking two, dexterously balancing one on each hand. Kenma opened the deck door to the outside for him. 

Asahi reached for one of the larger platters, but Noya soon took it from his hands. “I’ve got this,” the other man said with a broad grin. “You worked hard all day, time for you to get a break!”

“Th-thank you,” Asahi stuttered in surprise. 

Still, there were a few more dishes of food to take out, so he turned to grab another one but was further surprised when Kenma swooped in to grab it. “Really,” he said in a soft voice. “It’s our turn to help. We’ve got this.” 

By this time Kageyama had come back inside and got the last platter before Asahi could. “If you like you can get the door for us,” he said. “Then grab a beer and relax.” And without another word the two men walked away, leaving Asahi to scramble after them to get the door in time. 

It was now twilight in the backyard. The tent was glowing with the lights strung around it. Oikawa’s fairy lights glittered in the trees, and inside it was warm and toasty from the heaters. Oikawa and his mother were arranging the platters of food on a buffet table, while Oikawa Senior chatted over at the cooler with Suga, Hinata, and Kuroo.

“Here man,” Asahi heard and turned to see Daichi offering him a glass of wine. “We heard you all put this together today. Good job!”

“Thank you,” Asahi said, surprised. 

“And don’t worry about clean up,” Kenma said, walking over with a White Claw in his hand. “We’ll handle it.” 

“It’s our turn to help out,” Kageyama said, joining them. 

Unicorns, thought Asahi. I’ve read that a group of unicorns is called a blessing, and I’ve actually found one!

Because for all the crazy the three other “brides men” generated, Asahi was shocked how perfect their partners seemed. Of course, no one was completely perfect, but none of Asahi’s other friends had partners, husbands, wives, etc. as considerate as these three men were. Truly, they were a herd of unicorns. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” Asahi heard someone call out. “We’re here!” 

He turned to see that another couple had arrived. Iwaizumi had gone over to hug both of them. The louder man had tufted black and silver hair, and was wearing jeans and black Hensley. His partner was a bit shorter, with messy black hair and emerald eyes that matched his green sweater. 

“Ah, I see Iwa-chan’s other groomsman has arrived,” Oikawa said, sauntering over. “That’s Akaashi and his fiancé, Bokuto.” 

“Iwaizumi has just Akaashi and Noya as groomsmen, right?” Asahi asked. 

“Yup. I have more friends.” 

“Jerk.”

“Love you too.” 

“Grab a plate and help yourselves,” Oikawa’s mother called from the buffet table. 

Asahi started to hang back to let others go first, but there was movement at his elbow and he looked down to see Noya with a plate in each hand. “Here, Asahi,” the smaller man said, holding a plate out to Asahi. “Go get in line.”

“Oh, thank you,” Asahi said, blushing. He moved into the buffet line with Noya right behind him. 

There was a delicious looking spread of barbecued pulled pork, rolls, potato salad, cole slaw, and fried chicken. Discovering that he was suddenly starving after his day, Asahi loaded up his plate. 

There was a long table set up the width of the tent. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were already seated at the head. Asahi went to sit next to Suga and Daichi. Noya sat on his other side. 

“Oh my god,” Noya moaned as he took a bite of his food. Asahi thought it was one of the hottest sounds he’d ever heard. “This is delicious!” He moaned again as he took another bite. 

“Noya!” Iwaizumi called to him. “Stop making food-gasm noises!”

“I can’t help it! It’s so good!”

“It’s from the Night Owl restaurant,” Oikawa added. “They’re always good!”

“Whenever I visit we make sure to eat there,” Asahi told Noya. “They’ve been around for years.” 

“Even our restaurant across town can’t do as good of barbecue as they do,” Suga added “We stopped trying and focused on our Asian fusion bowls instead.” 

Asahi scarfed his food down, but still enjoyed the happy chatter from around the table. He could see that all of the couples were incredibly fine-tuned with each other.

From Oikawa and Iwaizumi radiated this pure joy, their excitement for tomorrow almost palpable. Kenma was again on his phone, but Kuroo had a protective arm wrapped around his shoulders as he talked to Hinata next to him. Hinata and Kageyama were holding their hands on top of the table. Next to Asahi, Suga had scooted his chair as close to Daichi’s as he could, and was leaning against his husband’s chest while idly running his hand up and down Daichi’s thigh. 

“Done with your plate?” Noya asked next to Asahi. 

“Oh! Uh, yes,” Asahi said. 

“Let me,” Noya jumped up and cleared both his and Asahi’s plates. 

Asahi began to stand to clear other plates, but saw Daichi, Kenma, and Kageyama already clearing the table. 

“Need another glass of wine, Asahi?” Daichi asked him with a smile 

“Oh I’m good, but thank you though,” Asahi responded. 

“Unicorns,” Asahi said aloud in wonder, as the men left the tent with all the plates. 

“What?” asked Suga from his side. 

Asahi looked at Suga, Kuroo, and Hinata. “Unicorns. You all found and married a bunch of unicorns.” 

The three men laughed at this statement. “Don’t worry, Asahi,” Hinata piped up from across the table. “We’ll find you a unicorn too.” 

“Please do! You’re all apparently very good at it.” 

“Okaasan made cookies!” Noya said, reappearing with a plate full of chocolate chip cookies. “Asahi?” he asked, offering the plate to Asahi first.

Asahi took the cookie and bit into it with an appreciative moan. “Okaasan makes the best cookies,” he said. 

“Now who’s making food-gasm noises?” Noya asked with a laugh, causing Asahi to blush again. 

“Oh!” Hinata exclaimed, bouncing out from his spot on Kageyama’s lap. “Before we forget, we need to do pictures!”

“Ah, right,” Suga said. “Let’s get a bunch of pictures for the bridal party, and we need to get some of all of our guys together too!”

“C’mon gents,” Kuroo said, planting a quick kiss to the top of Kenma’s head as he stood up. “To the trees!”

They placed Oikawa in the middle, then had him flaked by Asahi, Kuroo, Suga, and Hinata. Immediately Daichi, Kageyama, and Kenma began snapping away with their smart phones. 

Asahi quickly pulled his phone from his pants and handed it to Noya, who was standing off to the side. “Noya!” he exclaimed. “Would you mind getting a few on my phone for me, please?”

Noya’s face broke into a wide grin. “No problem, Asahi!” he said, and made his way so that he was right in front of the small crowd of partners snapping away at their husbands.

“Now the groomsmen!” Oikawa called out after about five-dozen pictures had been taken. 

Iwaizumi hauled Akaashi from the table, and Noya jumped in for their photo session. Asahi made sure to take several pictures of the three men, using his height to stand behind the others and snap some pics. 

He made his way over to Noya as the groomsmen disbanded. “I got some pictures of you all,” Asahi said. “If you don’t mind giving me your number I’ll send them to you.” 

“Thanks Asahi!” Noya exclaimed. Noya flipped through the sent pictures. “Dude, you hit the nail on the head, these are good!”

“Well,” Asahi said, cheeks warming at the praise. “I am a professional photographer, so I’d hope I know how to take a photo! And…thanks for all of your help tonight. 

Getting the food out, cleaning up, etc. It’s really appreciated.”

Noya looked up at Asahi with a tender smile. “I’ve been friends with Iwaizumi since high school. He told me all about Oikawa, and because the two of you are best friends, he told me all about you.”

“I’m not that special,” Asahi mumbled. 

Noya bumped Asahi with his shoulder. “Yeah, you are. These other guys are great and a lot of fun to be with, but I didn’t arrive to any of them stringing up lights or hauling around tables. That was you.” 

“I’m not the best with praise, but thank you,” Asahi sincerely said. 

“I’m glad you’re at this wedding, Asahi.” Noya winked at him, then walked away. 

Asahi stood for a moment, speechless, until Oikawa came up to him. “He’s a good one,” Oikawa commented.

“Well,” Asahi replied. “He’s Iwaizumi’s friend. And Iwaizumi is a good man. Thus, he’d have good friends.” 

“Iwaizumi is a good man,” Oikawa sighed. 

Asahi laughed and wrapped an arm around his best friend’s shoulder. “You are a smitten kitten!” he said. 

“So, so smitten.” 

The two friends walked back to join the rest of the group. They all laughed and chatted for a little bit longer, before Oikawa mentioned that they should start putting things away for the night so he could get his beauty rest before the big day tomorrow. The three bridal party couples headed to a new Airbnb rental while Asahi stayed behind, as usual, to make sure everything was set before tomorrow. Bokuto, Akaashi, and Noya helped out too, and soon everything was ready to the next day.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Asahi said, as he got ready to leave, giving Oikawa a giant hug. 

“I’m getting married!” Oikawa exclaimed into his shoulder. Asahi chuckled in response and squeezed his friend tighter. 

“And,” Oikawa continued, looking up at Asahi. “If you’ve ended up on a loveseat, or anything over there, just come on over here. You can always have the guest bedroom.” 

“Thank you, but I’m sure it will be fine.” 

Asahi, Noya, Bokuto and Akaashi walked out together, waving goodbye at the happy couple in the doorway. 

Once at the rental, Asahi’s heart was warmed as he found that the others had made up a sofa bed for him in the annex. He joined the others for a nightcap in the living room, before hopping in the shower. He felt much closer to these other men, and though it had been a little of a crazy start with them, Asahi genuinely enjoyed their company. 

As Asahi settled into bed he saw Tanaka had recently texted him. 

Tanaka: Bro- you alive?

Asahi: Yeah, tired though. Did a lot of lifting today. 

Tanaka: I saw those pics you sent. The setup looks pretty good! Did the other bridal guys help set up too? I didn’t see them. 

Asahi: ….no…

Tanaka: Bro, you’re a good friend. 

Asahi: One of Iwaizumi’s groomsmen helped out. His name is Noya. And he was so helpful and he’s also really funny and he’s got one of the best smiles I’ve ever seen!

Tanaka: Twitterpatted

Asahi: I am not!!

Tanaka: You so are. But that’s ok bro!

Asahi: I should go to bed now. 

Tanaka: Yeah, get your rest while you can.

Tanaka: …and dream of that Noya guy! ;) 

Asahi: Love you too bro…sometimes ;) 

The next morning Asahi awoke to the smell of brewing coffee, and stumbled out to the sight of a shirtless Daichi pulling out some cream and sugar for it, while Kenma whipped some eggs in a bowl. 

“Morning!” Daichi greeted, handing a mug to Asahi. 

“Thank you,” Asahi said, pleasantly surprised. 

The two men turned as they heard a commotion in the hallway. “And don’t forget the bacon!” Hinata was saying as he followed Kageyama to the door. 

“I won’t, I won’t,” the other man said, scowling as he walked out. Asahi figured Kageyama wasn’t a morning person. 

“What, Kageyama didn’t give it to you when you wanted?” Kuroo asked Hinata as he exited his bedroom, a grin sliding up the side of his face. 

“No, it wasn’t that,” Hinata huffed as he took a cup of coffee from Daichi. “He is angry about last night though, but it wasn’t my fault!”

“What happened?” Suga asked as he also came into the kitchen, snuggling up under Daichi’s arm and kissing his husband good morning. 

“Well,” Hinata said with a long-suffering sigh. “He’s so clingy in bed. And he rolled over on top of me last night and would not get off! I pushed, I shoved, and nothing! So,” Hinata took a dramatic pause to sip some of his coffee. “I slapped his titty as hard as I could.” 

“What!?” Suga exclaimed. Daichi practically spit out his coffee and Kenma huffed a laugh into his mug. Kuroo barked out a laugh and Asahi felt his jaw fall open, yet again. 

“Yup,” Hinata nonchalantly continued. “Just a big ol’ open-palmed titty slap.”

“Well we heard someone from your room yell ‘what the fuck?!’ in the middle of the night and just thought you were up to some really kinky sex!” Kuroo said while laughing. 

“Yup. That was him. He got off me then!”

The men were all still laughing as Kageyama walked in the door. “I got your damn bacon!” he announced. 

“We heard you had a rough night,” Kenma said with a shy grin.

“Yeah! What the fuck!”

The group laughed. Hinata pecked a kiss on Kageyama’s cheek, which lessened the other man’s scowl just a bit. 

“Dumbass,” Kageyama muttered to his husband as he pulled him against his chest in a hug. “I got some hash browns to cook up as well.” 

“Best husband!”

“Agree to disagree,” Suga said, warmly smiling up at his own husband. 

Daichi smiled back as he pulled out a frying pan and began to heat up the bacon. 

“Need any help?” Asahi asked him. 

“No, but thanks though,” Daichi responded. “You and the rest of the bridal party are going to have a busy day.” 

“So we’ve got breakfast covered,” Kenma added, pouring the eggs in another skillet to cook. Kageyama was opening a carton of orange juice and pouring glasses for everyone. 

Unicorns, Asahi thought, returning to the same line of thought as the night before. How did these guys find so many unicorns?

Just as the food was done cooking, Oikawa burst through the rental door. “Ok bridal party!” he called out. “We gotta get to the park and get the benches set up!”

“Breakfast first,” Daichi said, handing him a plate full of food. “It’s your wedding day, and you’ll probably not get a change otherwise to eat all day.” 

“It’s true,” Kageyama said, also handing Oikawa a cup of coffee. “I don’t think Hinata and I ate all day until the wedding dinner when we got married.” 

Oikawa looked a little overwhelmed, yet touched. “Thank you,” he said. 

Suga gently guided him to a table to eat. Kenma handed him some silverware. 

“You guys are so nice,” Oikawa said. 

“I’m pretty sure they’re all unicorns,” Asahi leaned over to whisper to Oikawa. 

“I don’t know how we all found some, but we really did,” Oikawa whispered back before digging into his breakfast. 

Asahi’s face must have shown something as Oikawa nudged him and said with a mouth full of eggs, “You’ll find yours.” 

Asahi simply smiled and pushed a napkin over to Oikawa. “Let’s focus on you today,” he said. 

A quarter of an hour later, after Oikawa had eaten and had a to-go cup of coffee (courtesy of Kenma), they divided into two groups. One group was headed to Oikawa’s house to get the flower arrangements ready, while a second group was headed to the city park to get the benches and archway set up. Asahi was in the second group with Suga and Oikawa, with word that Noya, Bokuto and Akaashi would meet them there. 

At the park Oikawa operated like a general, directing the other men where to place what. Akaashi and Bokuto worked on erecting and securing the arch, while Asahi and Noya worked together to set up rows of wooden benches. 

“Thanks for helping me carry these, Noya,” Asahi said as they grabbed yet another bench from the back of Bokuto’s truck. “It’s not so much that they’re heavy as just awkward to carry.” 

“No problem,” Noya responded. “I can ogle your biceps from here just fine as you carry them.” 

Asahi almost dropped the bench and blushed bright red as Noya laughed. 

Once Oikawa was satisfied with the park setup and got word that the backyard was ready for the reception, he ordered everyone to meet back at the rental. They had a few hours left until the ceremony to get changed and ready. 

Iwaizumi and his groomsmen were getting ready at the house. The husbands of the bridal party stayed at the rental, helping tie ties and finding lost cuff links. 

“I got us a surprise,” Oikawa announced in the midst of the dressing frenzy. “For those of you who want it, I have a beautician coming over to do hair and even make up, if anyone’s interested. I would suggest it as I would prefer a half decent lot in my wedding photos.” 

Shortly after, Oikawa welcomed a sweet young woman inside. She quickly set up shop in the small dinning room and got to work on the men. For Hinata she simply enhanced his natural orange tuffs of hair, making them smoother and shinier with fewer frizzes. 

Kuroo she took one look at and shook her head. “I can’t recommend anything,” she said. “You’re good!” 

Kuroo was incredibly smug about that and kept poking at Kenma (engrossed on his phone) saying, “I hope you heard that!”

“No,” Kenma simply responded. 

Suga had his soft silver hair slicked back, and allowed a bit of airbrushed foundation and dark grey eyeliner to be applied. Daichi’s eyes lit up appreciatively at the sight. 

At Asahi the beautician’s eyes widened in delight. “Oh,” she said. “You are going to be fun.” 

She practically hauled him onto a chair and went to work. As she worked product through his hair, Asahi tuned into the conversation happening in the living room with all the couples as they waited. 

“So wait,” Hinata was asking Suga. “You can do what with Daichi?”

Oh god, thought Asahi. What are they going to discuss now?

“I know where Daichi’s penis is at all times,” Suga responded with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

“Isn’t it…in his pants?” Kageyama asked. 

“Well, yes. But I know how it’s lying in his pants at all times.” 

“How?” Kageyama asked incredulously. 

“Well, it belongs to me.” 

“Ahem,” Daichi said. His cheeks were faintly pink. 

“Oh shush. You married me. It’s mine.” 

“So can you like, point it out right now?” Kuroo asked. 

With a smug smile Suga simply ran his finger from the center of Daichi’s crotch, down his leg, and around. Keeping his hands folded behind his head, Daichi let him.  
When Suga was done the whole group looked expectantly at Daichi. With a small smile on his face, Daichi simply nodded in confirmation. 

“Wow,” Hinata said to Suga. 

“It’s my superpower,” Suga said, causing the group to laugh. 

“These guys are fantastic!” the beautician said to Asahi. 

“They’re a crazy bunch of unicorns,” Asahi responded. 

She laughed at his response. “That is a perfect way to describe this group!”

The beautician took longer with him, but the end result was stunning. For his long hair she’d loosely curled it so that it fell in soft waves down his back, then used a sparkly hair clip to pull half of it back. She applied some airbrushed foundation, and kohl around his eyes as well as some mascara to “highlight those amazing, long lashes,” as she said. 

“Holy shit, Asahi,” Oikawa said as he walked into the room. “You look hot!”

Asahi blushed. “It’s not too much?” he asked. 

“Hell no!” Oikawa quickly snapped a pic with his phone. 

He and Asahi switched places, and while the beautician worked on Oikawa, Asahi quickly changed into his tux. Kenma very kindly helped him get into all of the different pieces and do up the buttons. He came back out to a flawless looking Oikawa, with porcelain skin and perfectly tufted soft brown locks. Once he was changed into his white tux the entire look was perfection. 

From that point on it seemed like time sped up as the next thing Asahi knew was they were all piling out of the car at city park, flower bouquets in hand, and ready to begin their procession down the aisle. Iwaizumi was proudly standing at the archway with the old family friend who was acting as the officiate for the ceremony.

Akaashi and Noya walked up to join the bridal party to begin the procession. Both were dressed in black suits with white shirts and skinny black ties. Noya was grinning so broadly his eyes were practically squeezed shut. 

“You look absolutely stunning,” he said, holding his arm out for Asahi to take. As best men they’d be walking down first. 

“Thank you,” Asahi responded with a warm smile as he linked arms with Noya. 

The music began, and they began to stately walk down the aisle. Behind them came Akaashi with Hinata. Finally, though they were both technically part of the bridal party, Suga and Kuroo walked down together. 

The ceremony was beautiful and almost everyone cried. Except for Oikawa and Iwaizumi. They just laughed at all the tears around them. 

After the ceremony it was picture time. As best men, Asahi and Noya posed together, arms wrapped around each other’s waist and beaming at the camera. Asahi looked over and saw Oikawa give him a wink at the sight. 

From the park they went back to Oikawa’s house and the event tent in the backyard. Twilight was falling and the fairy lights were twinkling in the trees again. Though the temperature was dropping, the warmth from the heat lamps kept the tent cozy and warm. Suddenly starving after such an eventful day, the group practically fell on their dinner once it was served, gobbling up plates of braised chicken, rice pilaf, salad, and cheesy buns. 

As everyone ate, Noya and Asahi gave their best men speeches. Noya practically brought everyone to tears from laughing so hard as he regaled the party with humorous tales of growing up with Iwaizumi and why Oikawa was in for a very interesting marriage. On the other hand, Asahi heard several people sniffle into handkerchiefs as he (blushing bright red) spoke from his heart about what a friend Oikawa had been to him throughout his life, and how happy he was that Oikawa had found the ultimate best friend to spend the rest of his life with. 

As a break in between dinner and dessert, Oikawa and Iwaizumi did their first dance. Asahi was pleasantly surprised to see that they actually did an elaborate waltz, instead of the awkward side-to-side shuffle often adopted as a throwback to high school dance days. 

From the dance floor Iwaizumi and Oikawa came over to the dessert table for the cake cutting. To everyone’s surprise, the newlyweds didn’t shove cake into each other’s faces, but daintily fed each other bites off their forks. But then Oikawa leaned over to take as large a bite as he could out of Iwaizumi’s piece on his plate, then placed a frosting-clad kiss on Iwaizumi’s cheek to the chorus of hoots and laughter from the wedding guests.

After everyone had his or her fill of cake, the dance floor was opened up for everyone. Asahi joined into the classic “Electric Slide”, and then continued to dance as the songs flowed together. Noya was often at his side, and the two danced and laughed together. 

“Oh!” Oikawa’s mother exclaimed after a song. “We need to do the bouquet and garter toss!”

Everyone went back to his or her seats for a moment, while Asahi was hauled up to the stage. For a moment he stood alone, and figured he would just be handed the bouquet like the original plan and then could go sit down. However, this was not to be as someone in the crowd pointed out that while they were engaged, Kuroo and Bokuto were not yet married and thus qualified for the bouquet toss. 

Asahi mentally shrugged. While he had “competition”, at least he wasn’t up here pathetically all-alone. 

Oikawa walked up in front of them and struck a pose with one hand on his hip. “Ready, gents?” he asked with a wink and teasingly wiggling the tossing bouquet. 

“Let’s do this!” Kuroo whooped. 

“Get ready!”

Oikawa bent down, then threw his arms back as he tossed the bouquet high up in the air. With amazement, Asahi saw the flowers tumbling through the air right towards him. All he had to do was take a small step forward and keep his hands ready. 

However the next thing he knew there was a loud eruption next to him and he was violently knocked aside as Kuroo leaped up and to the side, ramming into Asahi and grabbing the bouquet out of the air. Asahi was knocked into Bokuto, who quickly steadied him to prevent him from falling on the floor. 

It was crazy, and extravagant, and Asahi couldn’t help but laugh along with the rest of the crowd. Kuroo was holding up his bouquet like a boxing prize. 

Next was the garter. Earlier Oikawa had put one on, though he didn’t put in on his thigh like a traditional bride, knowing that Iwaizumi wouldn’t be able to get up there through his pant legs. Instead, Oikawa had it resting around his calf. 

A chair was brought up and Oikawa daintily sat down. Iwaizumi sauntered up to the sounds of hoots and hollers, appreciatively eyeing his new husband. He slowly sank to his knees, running his hands from Oikawa’s ankles to the backs of his knees. The crowd went wild. Iwaizumi slowly pulled up Oikawa’s pant leg and then began working the garter down with his teeth. 

Once it was off, Oikawa laughingly left the dance stage and Noya, Kenma, and Akaashi were pushed up as the single men for the garter toss. Pulling the garter taut, Iwaizumi launched it behind him. To everyone’s surprise, it hit Kenma in his chest before he caught it in his hands. He looked down at it in surprise as his fiancé rushed onto the stage to pull him into a tight hug. 

“Well that worked out,” Akaashi said to Asahi as he walked off the dance floor. “They’re engaged anyway.” 

“Yeah,” Asahi answered with a smile while watching Kuroo pepper Kenma’s face with kisses. “And it makes for a great story.” The two men chuckled at that. 

Gradually, the party died down as people began to leave. Soon, it was the wedding party and a few other guests who remained. People were mostly playing their own music to dance to at this point. 

“Husband,” Hinata said, turning to Kageyama with a broad grin. “Let’s play ‘our’ song. Dance with me?”

Asahi felt just a little apprehensive at the sight of Kageyama’s smile as took his husband’s outstretched hand and replied, “Let’s do it.” 

They tapped a bit on the phone hooked up to the speakers and soon some low guitar strands were playing as a man with a voice reminiscent to Elvis sang about rolling up to a club in a caddy. To everyone’s delight Hinata and Kageyama began doing an elaborate swing dance complete with dips, twirls, and even a few flips. Then the chorus belted out “COCAINE! Country dancing with you!” Everyone burst out laughing at such a line, but heartily applauded the couple once they were done. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” Kuroo asked, impressed. 

“We decided to take one of those dancing classes and make a date night out of the lessons each week,” Hinata answered before taking a large swig of his White Claw. 

“We live in a small town,” Kageyama added. “And it’s always very entertaining to see everyone’s reactions when we dance to this song at the bar.” 

“We’re not sure if it’s the song, or the fact that it’s two men swing dancing, but either way it’s pretty funny.” 

“You guys are very good,” Asahi sincerely complimented. 

“Thanks man!”

A slow song then came on, and Kageyama took Hinata’s hand and led him back onto the dance floor. Diachi took up Suga. Kuroo gave Kenma a considering look as his fiancé was playing a game on his phone, before taking Kenma’s phone, putting it away in his pocket, and dragging him up onto the dance floor. Asahi was rather surprised that Kenma didn’t protest, but then he saw the tiny, happy grin on the smaller man’s face. Then Oikawa was pulling Iwaizumi to join in the dancing. The four couples contentedly and slowly swayed around on the dance floor, each of them happily wrapped up in their own little bubble. Asahi looked around and saw Bokuto and Akaashi dancing by the trees underneath the fairy lights. He took a few pictures of the happy couples before putting his phone back in his pocket. 

Asahi let out a long breath. It wasn’t filled with sadness, or jealousy, as really he was so happy all of these wonderful people had not only found partners, but had found men so perfect it was like they had been specially made for them. For all that these couples made him blush in a way that he hadn’t since high school, Asahi felt rather grateful to witness five couples that had found each other. He only wished that one day he could join this group with an addition of his own perfect unicorn. 

“Hey, Asahi,” a low voice said next to him. Asahi looked up to see Noya standing next to him, holding out a hand. “Dance with me?”

Asahi gave a warm smile and took Noya’s hand, allowing the other man to pull him up. “I’d love to.” 

Noya led him not onto the dance floor, but out into the yard at the edge of the fairy lights, opposite of Akaashi and Bokuto. Asahi was grateful for the dim light to hide his blush as Noya wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling the taller man close. Asahi placed his arms around Noya’s shoulders, and allowed the other man to lead him in a slow, swaying dance. It might have felt just like a high school slow song, but back then Asahi had never been brave enough to dance with anyone, let alone allow himself to gaze into his partner’s warm brown eyes. Noya held his gaze, a small smile on his face. The two men didn’t speak, but simply held each other close as the song went on. 

“Thank you,” Noya said softly once the song ended.

“Thank you for asking me,” Asahi replied.

“After this weekend, I’d like to take you on a date, if that’s alright with you,” Noya asked, and for the first time Asahi saw the other man begin to blush. 

“I’d very much like that,” Asahi whispered, and was rewarded with Noya looking at him in shock, with his expressive eyes opened wide in surprise, before they crinkled closed from the intensity of his pleased smile. 

“Why did you look so surprised?” Asahi asked with a little laugh. 

Noya chuckled. “Because I wouldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t take the chance of asking you, even though I’m convinced you’re out of my league.” 

“No, you’re the one out of mine,” Asahi said, taking Noya’s hand and entwining their fingers. 

Noya shook his head in contradiction, but didn’t let go of Asahi’s hand as they walked back to the party. 

The end of the night came soon after. The rest of the guests had left and the only ones who remained were the wedding party, who had put the table chairs into a big circle out in the yard around the fire pit. The stars and fairy lights both were twinkling above them as they contentedly sat around the fire, joking and laughing about nothing in particular. 

It didn’t come as a surprise to Asahi (not any more after this weekend) when the conversation turned to sex. He wouldn’t expect anything less from this group. Bokuto, Akaashi, and Noya hadn’t been present for the previous, outrageous conversations, and was internally pleased to see that it wasn’t just himself who was often shocked at what this group discussed. This particular discussion was no different.

“So Kenma,” Suga addressed the other man. “In college we’d say that Kuroo was the wildest of us all.” 

“I still am!” Kuroo interjected, his sly grin sliding up one side of his face. 

“So I have to ask,” Suga continued as if Kuroo hadn’t spoken. “What’s your sex kink?”

Asahi’s jaw still dropped open, and he was relieved to see next to him Noya’s brows also raised in shock. Across the circle Bokuto and Akaashi had matching looks of wide-eyed surprise. 

“Kenma,” Oikawa said, raising his head off of Iwaizumi’s shoulder to address the other man. “You do not have to answer that. We’ve just assumed to be with Kuroo you have to have one.” 

Kuroo was just snickering as Kenma gave him a withering look. “The sex is no problem,” he answered simply. 

“Well of course the sex isn’t a problem,” Suga continued. “But what do you do with the sex? Bondage? Dress as furries? What?”

“Dress as what?” Hinata leaned around Kageyama to ask Suga.

“Furries. People dressed in giant, plush, animal costumes.” 

“No, no, no,” Kuroo said as Hinata pulled out his phone to begin Googling “furries”. “We don’t do any of that.” 

“So you do have something!” Suga triumphantly exclaimed. 

“It’s nothing like that,” Kenma said. “No bondage or furries or whatever.” 

“So explain.” 

“Well, have you ever seen a cat lick itself? Like especially when it licks between its toes, and its tongue is super long and flexible?”

“Yes,” Suga drew the word out, a dubious look on his face. Judging from everyone’s expressions, Asahi wasn’t the only one who had no idea where this explanation was going.

“It’s like that.” 

“What’s like that?”

Throwing an arm over his fiancé’s shoulders and holding him close Kuroo nonchalantly answered Suga, “Sometimes when I’m chilling and watching TV I sit pants-less on the couch with Kenma kneeling in between my legs and just licking my dick like a cat.” 

There was a second of shocked silence before the group erupted in exclamations. 

“What the fuck?” said Hinata. 

“I knew there had to be something!” Suga laughed. 

“That sounds about right for Kuroo,” Oikawa said, rolling his eyes with a smile. 

“You let your cat lick your dick!?” Bokuto yelled. 

“What the fuck? No!” Kuroo exclaimed, shaking his head. 

“Bo, there are no actual cats involved,” Akaashi patiently explained to his fiancé as the wedding dissolved into tears and peals of laughter. 

Asahi just shook his head. Really, he should stop being surprised. 

“Oh my god,” Noya whispered from Asahi’s side. Asahi looked over at the other man who had a shocked look on his face but a speculative gleam in his eyes. “These guys are absolutely crazy!”

“Yup,” Asahi agreed, putting an arm around Noya’s shoulders. “They’re a crazy bunch of unicorns.” 

Across the circle Asahi and Oikawa shared a grin. What a great wedding this was!

**Author's Note:**

> The "real" Hinata/Kageyama couple ran a ranch in Wyoming and were pro swing dancers! I asked if they could also do all the flips and twirls and they said yes. When I asked for a demonstration I was told no, the bridesmaid wasn't wearing any underwear.... At the wedding, they were obsessed with the song "Cocaine Country Dancing" by Paul Cauthen and loved dancing with each other to it. Look it up. Have a laugh! 
> 
> The "real" Kuroo is female. Let's call her C, and her fiance, R.  
> Everyone: R, you MUST have a sex kink to be with C! She's so crazy!  
> R: Well.... you know the toe beans of a cat??  
> Everyone:..........  
> R: And have you ever just wanted to squish them and like.... I dunno... boop them? *Makes unhelpful motions with his fingers*  
> Everyone:.........  
> C (As cool as a cucumber): I sit on the couch without wearing pants and let him play with my clit like that, like he's squishing a cat's toe beans.  
> Everyone loses their minds.
> 
> *C was also the one who rammed into me during the bouquet toss. Had I just stood there I would have had it! Then I was hit by a tank!
> 
> So the next week I go back to work, and I'm still shook AF. Had a great time, but..... what the hell was all of that?! Naturally, I tell my dear coworkers so that they can share my trauma. One of them is not the sharpest knife in the drawer... When I get to the toe beans part of the story she looks utterly appalled and disgusted and I think it's because of the story. Nope. She loudly exclaims: SHE LET'S A CAT DO THAT TO HER CLIT WITH ITS TOE BEANS!?!?!!
> 
> As crazy as this bunch of unicorns are, there is no bestiality involved! :D
> 
> So thank you for reading, and I am so sorry if I have ruined toe beans for you! :P


End file.
